Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Invisible Woman

Yesterday, I was driving with my little brother John E, and we stopped to drop off something to our sister. At least 10 minutes after the detour, the following conversation ensued.

John from the back seat: "Hey Diane, did you know I finished my lego walker today?"
Mary: My name is Mary, and yes, you already showed me.
John: No, I was talking to Diane!
Mary: Diane's not in the car.
John: She's not? Where did she go?
Mary: She never got in the car. We just dropped off her toothbrush at her apartment. Remember?
John: I thought she was coming with us.

Either John was too enthralled in his game playing in the back seat to know what was going on, or his perception was skewed by his expectations. Either way, it made for a hilarious moment.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

"Christmas Tree, Christmas Tree, Christmas Tree Rock"

Literally. Well, it was rocking a little, before we got it in the stand right. So, Barney said he needed to do an errand on the way home tonight. I was making dinner, thinking that he would just be a minute, and many many minutes later, I heard a thump at the door. Well, at this point, I was pretty much sure he was either tired of the cold weather and took off to Mexico, or he'd been abducted. So, I was a bit nervous to answer, but when I did and saw a huge, beautiful, live Christmas tree, I forgot all about Barney! (Just kidding!) I was so excited that he had bought a live tree! It's the first time I've ever had one, and I love it. (*note my excited and surprised expression to the left.) It's absolutely perfect! See! Look!

Well, it almost looks that good. All it has on it right now is a piece of twine I found and two empty boxes under it. Still, I think it looks pretty beautiful!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's been a while

The other night, I was super sick (coughing up bits and pieces of my organs) and my thoughtful, talented and extremely attractive husband came to the rescue. There he was, at 3 in the morning, reminding me how to breathe, and coaching my coughs to not be so deep. Then, (whether in his delirium or consciousness, I know not) he started telling me one of the weirdest stories I've ever heard. (It actually seemed quite normal to me at the time, due to my state of being.) There was something about walking through a field of mud (which later became chocolate and chocolate chips on an ice cream sundae). Anyway, I was thinking that it would be pretty entertaining to record ourselves during the night, and listen to the things we think are logical when we are sleeping. I bet we would learn some interesting things about ourselves.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Is that a joke?

I just sat down to write this post, and this guy with a spray bottle full of cleaning suplies (who was drenching the drinking fountain with the toxic stuff), dropped the bottle and this scary pink liquid sprayed all over the girl he was working with, and started oozing on the floor.

Guy: are you okay?
Girl: *cough, cough, hack, screams of pain* "yeah, I'm fine"

so that's why they tell you to wear goggles. Do you think it's okay to drink out of that water fountain? She still hasn't come out of the bathroom. Talk about death of chivalry! Back in the day, if a guy even looked wrong at a girl it was rude. Now, he can throw toxic chemicals at her and get away with it?

Anyway, the reason for this post, was that I was indexing some names from a California 1920 census today. Some of it is somewhat decipherable, but other parts, are unbelievable. I don't know if it's just bad handwriting, or if the guy who was writing the census records was multi-tasking and watching their version of SNL or something. I can just see it:

Man (who we'll call Clifford) writing: "...John Hammond, Mary Edmund, ha, ha, ha Ecksnerzlenytrina. Shoot, do you think they'll be able to read that? Oh well..."

My question is, is Ecksnerzlenytrina a guy or a girl?

p.s. Barney and I have a new nephew!!! Congrats Net!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

On a more serious note...

*note: this post is much more personal and serious than usual. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Just wanted to say some things…

Recently, I have been thinking more introspectively, and reflecting on the miracles that are prevalent in my life—the greatest of which, I often take advantage of. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There are many people in the world who know what that means (many of my 3 fans/blog readers!!!), but there are also many who have no idea and probably don’t really care.

When I was young, my family took a trip to California and were staying in a hotel. I remember sitting in the hot tub with my mom and we were soon accompanied by a few fellow hotel stayers. They started light conversation, and after asking where we were from, asked my mom if we were "Mormon". She acknowledged this proudly. Then, they asked how many wives she was sharing my dad with. Despite my young age, I found the whole encounter rather amusing. (Not that my dad couldn't get another wife, but just that he would need to! My mom is amazing!) It is my earliest memory of meeting someone who didn't belong to the same religion that I do, and at the time, I wondered if I would've been brave enough to stand up for what I believed.

Well, time passed and one day I found myself talking to another man who once again, was contesting my beliefs. He wondered how I could believe something that was so ridiculous to him, and I remembered that this man was my brother and I wanted so badly for him to feel as happy as I felt. At this moment, I realized that this was a chance for me to stand up for my beliefs--not because I was right and he was wrong, but because I knew that he needed what I had.

And now, I have another opportunity. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I know that He bled and died so that I have to opportunity to be cleansed from sin. I know that God is my father and that he loves me. I know that he knows my name and my heart. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the same that Christ himself organized when he was on the earth, and it is true. When I think that I have the truth, it makes me want to cry and yell and thank my Father that I have been given such an incredible gift. I can call the sky purple or yellow or green, and I can really believe it, but it doesn't make it true. In the same way, what God says is true and right. It doesn't matter what I think or say or even believe, the truth is still the truth and I am so happy to have it. I wouldn't be anything without the light and joy that fills me because of the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is why I live. That is why I smile.

If anyone reading this post has a desire to learn more about this life-giving truth, go to: lds.org or mormon.org

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

So, I've been thinking...

I saw a woman wearing a sombrero today. She had four children with her, each donning a hat of all kinds of shapes, colors and sizes but she definitely won the ugly hat contest (well, I actually kinda liked it. :)) I think if I were an immigrant from Mexico, I would move back home after seeing some of the fashion statements in this country.

Have you heard the song "Love song" by Sara Bareilles? You know, "I'm not gonna write you a love song, cause you need it, ...." It's pretty amazing that she was even thinking of writing a love song for that punk that she wrote this song for. (Isn't that a little ironic?) Anyway, I tried to write a love song once. It said something like, "Paul, (he was the boy I liked for those 5 minutes) you're the cutest boy I've ever seen, you look like you're from a magazine..." Well, needless to say, my songwriting career never really took off.

You know what I think is amazing? Yeast. all it needs is a little warmth and it grows like crazy. Maybe we should make an alternative source of fuel that uses yeast to expand the source. Then we could save the world. Oh wait. That's my idea. Don't even think about trying to steal it.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Tale of Two Silly Sisters

Once upon a time, there were two silly sisters.
They were pretty happy being silly,

Despite their rather disturbing facial features at times, one of the sisters was happy to have just extracted a pea that had been in her nose for 3 days, and the other just got lasik. What's there not to be happy about?

One day, these silly sisters faced one of the biggest crises they had ever faced together.

One of the sisters saw a beautiful specimen of a man walking on campus. And not just any man. I mean, look at him! He's worth kissy faces and more!

These silly sisters dreamed about him,

They even sat in front of the mirror for hours, practicing looking as attractive as possible to impress him.

But they knew that in the end, one of them was going to win this man's heart, and that meant that the other was going to lose.

At first, they were both determined to win him. This was war after all.

But after a while, neither of them felt very happy. And this did not help them attract the man.

In order to save their relationship (they were sisters after all) one of the sisters tried going after other men. She wasn't too successful. Some were too tall, others too short, and then there was that one who wouldn't stop talking about his job cleaning fish tanks.

Then, one summer day, the man asked one of the silly sisters on a date. The other one tried to be happy for her.

And actually, she was. Because the man and the silly sister ended up falling in love and living happily ever after. The silly sisters went back to being just as silly as before, except this time, they had another silly face to join theirs

*Disclaimer: Diane was never chasing Barney and we would never fight anyway. It was just for the sake of the story. Oh, and no, I didn't try dating John E. :)

Monday, September 22, 2008

"Essay on poor weather" by Mary F. Lund

As discovered among scientists many years ago, continental states such as Utah and Russia tend to have climates that can change from the slightest disruption. Some examples may be ocean currents, el Nino, or suggestions from political candidates. These natural occurrences cause major problems among humans, because, as is common knowledge, humans like to be in warm, sunny, sandy places and not in cold, rainy, school-y places. To remedy this problem among humankind (notice my political correctness), I propose that we increase global warming to the max. This solution will:
1. Cut my clothing bills in the winter months
2. Save the sanity of many- especially college students who are required to walk from class to class, and
3. Create an increased sense of general comfort one with another as we shed our layers (to a modest degree of course)-showing our fearlessness to express the inner self.

As you can see, there are many reasons to warm up this planet we live on. Sure, it may cause iceburgs to melt, and increased pollution, but come on! I'm freezing here!

*Disclaimer: I understand the complexity of global warming and the negative affects- we talk about it a lot in the Geography Dept. Don't worry, it's just a bit cold.

Friday, September 12, 2008


Big news! There is a new Francis! As of Sept. 9, my sister-in-law Marcie gave birth to a 9 lb. 4 oz., 22 inch baby boy named George Taylor Francis. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty dang excited for him. I mean, he has no idea what a cool aunt he's got! :) *

And in case anyone else forgets (like my brother Jason did when trying to call me to tell the news), my new last name is LUND. It's not that hard! Just think of the state on the east coast, close to Washington D.C.

*of course the aforementioned "cool aunt" is Diane. Who else would I be talking about?

Friday, August 22, 2008

I'm it

I was tagged by my sister-in-law Jeanette, and even though I don't consider myself very interesting, I shall try my very hardest to have unique joys, fears, obsessions, and interesting facts.

Joys: (This one is easy)
Clean Kitchen
New Socks
Torrential rain storms
Cute AND comfortable shoes
Soft grass
Ice cream

Fears: (Not quite as easy)
Disappointing people I love
A family member getting in a debilitating accident
Not reaching my potential

Running/being healthy
Brushing my teeth
The Gospel

Interesting Facts:
I'm running a half-marathon tomorrow!
I have never broken a bone
I was in a Dairy Princess Pageant
I had braces for 6 months
Never been to Disneyland, but my favorite Disney movie is Aladin ("I can show you the world...")
I have a goal to run a marathon on the Great Wall of China

Monday, August 11, 2008

The truth comes out...

Thanks to the blog of my friend Kyle, I decided to take this ice cream quiz. Well, I must say, I am surprised. I mean, of course I agree with the first part--being cute and sweet and a bit mischievous isn't all that bad but the second part is what I'm wondering about. Do I really not take anything seriously? I mean, I thought I was pretty serious about taking this test. Especially on one question that had me stumped about what I would do if I were working in an ice cream shop and it was super busy. I seriously would try to convince people to order random flavors and combinations. So what? Wouldn't you?

I'm learning that ice cream is a really sensitive topic. You can tell a lot about a person by what kind of ice cream they order. Example #1: We just bought some goo-ood ice cream (it really should have another name...more exotic and yummy sounding- like ice ambrosia). Mr. T would even say that he pities the fool who doesn't have this sweet taste on their pallets. This just goes to show how brilliant and serious we really are.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tactlessness 101

If you want to be completely tactless, the best way to approach it is to just say any old thing that pops in your head (without thinking about it first of course). Make sure that you say it in a tone of voice (intentionally or not) that exudes a “mocking” feeling and that it’s directed towards someone from whom you want money.

Personal experience. We have a problem at the place where I work. We have disappearing pen syndrome. Historically, I would have to refill the pen jar only once a day, but more recently, a black hole has developed in the bottom of the jar. Either that or we have pen stealing elves. Seriously, I put 3 or 4 new pens in, and 10 minutes later, they’re gone! I now know the reason people tape flowers or forks or bar codes on their pens so they don’t disappear so readily. We don’t have any bar codes, but I’ve been thinking about taping a chair to the pen. Maybe then, we could catch the elves before they escape in victory.

Anyway, so yesterday, a customer came in, ordered some things, borrowed a pen to sign a receipt, and started walking out the door. She stopped, and turned around to return the pen. As she did, I said, “Thanks for not stealing our pen!” I didn’t think it was that bad, but all my coworkers were turning red from holding in the laughter, and she looked at me as if I had said, “your wig is falling off and I hate your mother.” That's the way it goes I guess. Just another day in the life of almost Marylund.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

"I am, I am, I am the luckiest"

I know I don't often wax sentimental on my blogy blog, but today, I want to write a wee bit about why I am the luckiest girl in all the world. Seriously, to all the rest of you, sorry. I win.

I am convinced that we are placed in certain situations in our lives so that we can have certain experiences and interact with certain people. I just had no idea how much better that could work out, then I ever could have planned. You see, soon (in 16 days to be exact) I will be getting married. My whole life (actually, for eternity so far) I've been thinking about the person I would marry and what marriage would be like, praying to be worthy of it, and praying for the guy I would someday marry. I have met many a man who I thought was "perfect" in every way. Sure, maybe they weren't 100% punctual or didn't have nice teeth but, hey, I could live with that. When I met Barney, I didn't see that "perfectness" that I thought I had seen with some others. It was easy for me to find his faults and think of all the reasons why it really couldn't work out. That's the first reason why I'm so lucky: Barney is extremely patient with me.

So, we continued dating and courting and then we got engaged. When I finally decided that not only could I, but I wanted to live with him forever, it was for so many reasons that I had never seen before. Now, only a few weeks before the wedding, I realize that Barney is perfect. He's perfect for me. There are hundreds of things that I never realized that I liked or needed or wanted, that he has and does.
That's the second reason: I'm going to marry Mr. Perfect.

Just one story to illustrate how great he is:
This morning, I woke up late (one of my least favorite feelings) and was running around like a banshee, trying to get to work on time. I had told Barney that I was going to do an errand that needed to be done today for our new apartment, but I didn't have time. I called him up, and he said he would take his lunch break, to make up for my sleeping in. What a great guy.

I love you Barney.

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Dentist (need I say more?)

Good news. Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate going to the dentist. Well, hate may be the wrong word. Abhor would be better.

As is my nature, I went to the dentist yesterday to take advantage of my parent's insurance one last time before I'm married and have to pay for it myself. I pretty much was having a nervous breakdown all day--hot and cold flashes, nervous twitches, the whole kablamo. Well, to add to the experience, there was a bit of a car dilemma, and I had to make Barney take off work to drive me out there (admittedly a better idea than me driving in my state of mind).

The breakthrough came when I got there, and all the receptionists and hygienists remembered my name and were super nice, I had no cavities, my dentist, Dr. Francis, was in an extremely good mood (a little too good of a mood due to the fact that he will soon be filleting fish in Alaska) and I didn't hate the experience. It also helped that Barney was there with me.

So, I'm not making any big announcements about actually liking going to the dentist, but I didn't hate it. Wow. I never thought this day would come.

*note: I'm getting married in 20 days!!!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Of Fans, Flatbread and Football

Yesterday (being the celebration of our nation's independence... i.e. July 4th), was a day off of work, responsibilities, and all non-funn-ness. Hence, I lived it up by running a race, watching part of the Parade, eating gelato, going to the Freedom Festival, going out to dinner, and camping out in the backyard--all very fun things. Three quick stories from the Freedom Festival:

Barney and I were wearing our matching Cubs hats, and as we were walking around, a man stopped us to inform us that he was indeed a fellow Cubs fan even though he was from the South side (technically White Sox territory). Funny how little things like a Cubs hat could not only spark conversation, but also form an instant fan club. Barney says he feels the same way when he sees someone using a Mac. For me, chacos do it. Hey look! There's someone wearing chacos! Chaco power! (that's our chaco club cheer)

Along our way we stopped at a flat bread stand. We only stopped because the day previous, I had met the guy running the stand, and he told me that it was the best flat bread in the whole world and had won a bunch of competitions (who would've thought that flat bread competitions existed?) and I believed it because he has 17 children. And come on! Anyone with that many kids means business. Anyway we went and it was good (especially with honey butter in the shape of first a star, then a circle, then an amoeba), but I wouldn't have voted for it at a flat bread competition. That is unless there was no one else competing (which was probably the case).

Our third adventure (that made it into this post for the sake of my alliteration in the title) occurred once again by a fellow Freedom Festival attendant, and once again due to articles of clothing. Barney was wearing a Barcelona soccer jersey, and this cute little (I say "little" because he couldn't have been been more than 5 feet tall) man from Mexico city stopped Barney to tell him about how much he loved the sport and the team. He wasn't making much sense in English, so I busted out my Spanish and we had a nice conversation. He introduced himself as Hermano (brother) Flores and asked about us, our relationship, and left a blessing upon us. It reminded me of this one time several years ago, when a Latin woman was praying over our food, and she left a blessing upon us that we would be fruitful, and procreate a lot. Gotta love the boldness of it.

Well, another blissful day in the life of Maria. I live it and I love it.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Labels for this post: e.g. scooters, vacation, fall

Disclaimer: This post was written by an individual who was extremely tired and there is the possibility for many a grammatical faux pas. Thus, it probably shouldn't be shared with children if you expect them to be able to function normally in life.

At the bottom of the screen that I'm using to write this post, there is a list of suggested titles. I wonder who gave these suggestions or if they had something interesting to say about scooters, vacation or fall. Here's what I have to say:

Scooters scooters, there's nothing cuter
except for maybe the booter dooter mooter looter
They can go and they can stop
They go vroom and they go pop!
And the best thing is that the gas mileage is good-er

Vacation...what is there to say. I love it. Mostly I love the spontaneity that is allowed when a set work schedule isn't required. I think my dream vacation would be to go to a land far far away, where I don't know the culture or the language, and then act like I'm deaf. I don't know sign language, but it would be funny to act like I did so people didn't think I was just an ignorant tourist. I guess it could back fire if I was signing to someone who actually knew sign. Yeah. That would be awkward.

And about fall...I guess it depends if it's a verb or a noun. When I think verbally, all I can think of is sky diving and scary dreams. But when I think of the noun...Boston. I've never been to Boston in the fall but I hear it's amazing. Don't the pirates who don't do anything mention something about that?

Well, there you have it. Scooters, vacation, and fall. What more is there?

Monday, June 23, 2008

These are a few of my favorite things

This morning on my run, I was reminded of how nice Heavenly Father is to me, and how many great things there are in my life. (This post is my attempt to make up for the last one. :)) There are thousands of things that I love, and here are a few of the ones I am thinking about today:

My great roommates; Running; Sunshine; Fresh fruit; Mondays; A good nights sleep; New socks; Barney; Phone calls from people I love; Picnics; Old movies; Flipping flip flops; Flowers; Swinging on swings; Karaoke; Teaching; Christmas caroling; Driving with the windows down; Walking bare-foot; Laughing; Country music; Sand dunes; Pillow fights; Walks/runs in the rain; The Temple; Billy Joel and Bob Marley; Bike rides; Shoes; Camping; Surprises; Speaking Spanish; Hammocks; Sunrises; Finding money in clothes I haven't worn for a while; Dancing; Letters in the mail; My family; Awkward moments; The gospel; Reading a good book; Baseball games; Chili dogs; Road trips; Looking at old pictures

Isn't life great?

*note: This list is non-exhaustive and in no particular order. I do love Barney more than I love Mondays. :)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

"Mary and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day"

Have you ever seen that children's book "Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day"? Great book. The best line is "I hope you sit on a tack! I hope your ice cream falls off the cone and lands in China!" Classic. Obviously, I would never, ever want anyone to sit on a tack, and while obesity is a real concern, I would hate for ice cream of any variety to be lost from the premises--even if it benefited people in China. Still, some days are better than others. Like today for example. Like that one time when I got my brand spanking new/shiny/black/fairly expensive bike stolen. Or that other time today when I found out that I had disappointed some people that I love and that didn't quite feel like a million bones. I'm still trying to master the art of being happy and not too hard on myself, and I think it must be a matter of maturity and not experience because I've had an awful lot of experiences and I'm still struggling.

The positive part of this Alexander day, is that I've had some time for reflection. I've always really wanted to be different. I have a feeling that because of this desire, maybe someday, somewhere, I can make a difference. Who knows. It's just a dream. I just care so much about things and I don't want that caring to go to waste. I'm learning though, that sometimes it's better to be the same. People respect sameness. They often struggle with people trying to be too different. You know what they say: "If everyone is special, no one is special." :)

Monday, June 9, 2008

Welcome to Marylund

Well, it's finally happened. Okay, let me rephrase that. Well, it's finally going to happen. 23 years and what seems like thousands of first dates later, I'm finally getting married. Yup, pretty cool huh. I'm excited.
I feel like this whole relationship so far haw been a series of decisions. I've felt so often, "Hey Mary. If you want it to work, work on it." So, I did and I have and I am. In fact, I worked on it so much, that I actually popped the question. I know, it's a bit unconventional. But then again, so am I.
Here's the story (just so I don't have to keep telling it):
So, once upon a time there was a boy whose name will be changed to protect the innocent. We'll just call him Barney L. No, no...How about B. Lund. One day, B. was walking through the Wilkensen's center on BYU campus, pondering on his most recent dating competition, and came upon the most beautiful girl he had ever seen who happened to be sitting with a girl he knew because they were on opposing teams (in the competition). It was the perfect opportunity to not only rub it in the face of the opposer, but also to get a date with a cute girl. So, B. sat down, and the following conversation ensued:
B.: What's your name?
Mystery girl: Hermana Francis...I mean Mary (she had just returned from a mission)
B.: Are you dating anyone?
MG: nope
B.: Do you want to go out with me?
MG: uuuuuhh.... (this lack of being able to speak was due in part to her lack of English speaking ability, in part to her awkward stage in life, and in part to his good looks)
MG: Yeah, I guess (acting like you don't care always makes you seem more desirable).

Needless to say, the date was amazing, as were the next hundred or so.
After a while of B. being ready but waiting on Mary to make a decision, she finally was able to make the decision, so she acted unsure for a few days just to freak him out, then on Friday night she set up a treasure hunt around town for him which ended up at a beautiful dinner with a beautiful girl and... (drum roll please) she got down on 2 knees and asked him to marry her.
So, to all you youngsters out there, searching for "the one," I say to you that you can keep looking forever, or you can make a decision and make it "the right one". I am thoroughly convinced of that.
The added bonus is that my new name will be Mary Lund. :)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

My New Set of Wheels

Good news world! Are you ready for it?... Okay, well, you may have noticed a new face on the streets of Orem and Provo, riding like those hard core cyclists. It's because...I got a new bike!!!! (notice the FOUR exclamation marks. That means I'm really excited). It's been pretty fun riding to work yesterday and today. I get here a little sweaty (the hills are killer to weaklings like me...I'll get there soon) and everyone at work thinks I'm a little crazy. I love it. I've decided to be consistent with my current standing of not caring what other people think about my strange tendencies, and so, will continue riding. Don't worry, I don't wear spandex...yet. Come on! I've only had this bike for 3 days now!

Watch out Lance Armstrong.

*note: to those of you who are wondering about my overuse of ellipsis... Don't worry about it. I'm just trying to build suspense.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Burnt taste buds

My boss/new best friend Sharon bought me some extremely hot hot chocolate today that was very tasty (well, at least I assume so. I couldn't really taste it) and very hot. After burning my taste buds off (the reason I couldn't really taste it), I began musing about the mysteries of life, the universe, and why we do things that we know will hurt us. Why do I drink hot chocolate, even when it is so hot that I can't taste anything else for a week? Maybe it's the same reason I go to the dentist. As Calvin's (as in Calvin and Hobbes) dad said, "Calvin, go do something you hate. Being miserable builds character."
Maybe it's the same reason I love running so much. No. Running isn't miserable.

Saturday, May 17, 2008


Amidst my extremely busy work schedule today, I somehow found time to observe the back of a bottle of hand sanitizer. Check out these active ingredients:
Ethyl Alcohol 62%, Water (agua), Carbomer, Tocopheryl Acetate, Glycerin, Propylene Glycol,... the list continues.
Good thing water is added in both English and Spanish. And as active as water is, it sounds even more threatening when labled as "agua." I also think it's pretty funny that "agua" is the only Spanish word on the whole bottle. I can just picture someone who only speaks Spanish, trying to figure out what the contents of this bottle are, and the only word this person can understand is "agua." What if this person just thought it was blue water and drank the whole bottle? Someone really should figure out a solution for all my monolingual friends.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Impulse Shopping

I've been meaning to write about this for a while, and for some reason, I haven't yet. So, the other day, I was sitting at work, and came across a website for the Hobble Creek half marathon in August. My heart did a little flutter, and I got all giddy inside. Then the doubts arose and something like the world wide debates ensued. I'm not quite sure which shoulder really housed the devil, and which was the angel. However, I am fairly sure that the one labeled "angel" was raised by Santa Clause.

angel on my shoulder: register now!! yay!

devil on my other shoulder: no way! You don't know anything about this race and you're not even going to perform very well. Settle for mediocrity.

aoms: you're amazing! woohoo!

domos: You really shouldn't impulse shop.

aoms: It's not impulse! It's inspiration!

domos: Whatever. Just remember when running mile 11 in the race, and you're cursing yourself for registering, I warned you.

aoms: Ho, ho ho!

Well, the infamous "aoms" won and $33 later, I'm committed to running the race. I am actually super excited. Not only do I really love running generally, but I am excited for the challenge of another long race. The best part, is that I got Barney to register too! Yay!! Call me crazy, Don't worry. I already know. I am.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Ode to spring

Oh how I love the spring in the air,
The flowers and birdies and love everywhere.
I love how the tops of the jeeps are removed,
And the picnics and hick-trips to get in the groove.
First ankles, then calves, then knees start to show
Except that my whiteness sends memories of snow.
All of the world seems a little more fresh
Especially the Bajio’s that does harm to your breath.
And children from Provo to American Fark
Are happily poisoning pigeons in the park.
School time is over and hope is returning
For all who would rather be frolicking and turning
And though the desire is strong in my heart
I’m sitting at a desk, unable to part
And so I say to all my favorite amigos
Enjoy the sunshine for me! Tonight I have to close.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Continuing Education

So, today at work I learned something new. Thank you msn.com. Turns out, polar bear mothers gain 400 lbs during pregnancy and if they don’t, their bodies reabsorb their fetus. Weird. All I’ve got to say, is that I’m really glad that my mama isn’t a Polar Bear because I’m positive she didn’t gain that much weight and who knows where I would be! I’d probably just be some absorbed piece of tissue somewhere and not any kind of twinkle in anyone’s eye.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Home again, home again

Well, I'm home from my trip to Chicago. It was pretty fun and an extremely good experience. My favorite line from the plane ride home was from the guy next to me who I will call Bruno.

Bruno: How long is the flight?
Mary: About 3 hours
Bruno: Is that with or without the time change

At that point, I had no idea what to say so I just tried to change the subject as quickly as possible so he wouldn't notice that my face was turning red and I was coughing/laughing.
Mary: so...How about them Cubs? ...

Anyway, it was pretty funny. We actually had several extremely funny moments. Dianey face hopefully will post a collection of our funny lines and Freudian slips. Okay, I can't resist. Here's one of my favorites:

Jason (our oldest brother): "Throwing up on yourself right before an amputation is definitely on my bottom 15."

My family is so cool. Some of the highlights from the trip were the Sears Tower, Art Museum, Museum of Science and Industry, eating lots of Mexican Food, church in Spanish, Chicago Pizza, and much more.

Family. Isn't it about...time. I love it

Friday, April 25, 2008

Chi-town The next phase

So, spending two days solo in Illinois had its pros and cons. Pros: no schedule; no limits on where I could go and what I could do; no screaming children running around like banshees, fighting. Cons: I started talking to myself pretty early on. It did get a bit lonely, but it was fun to go see Korea town and shop at little obscure shops and drive past Michael Jordan's neighborhood.

Pretty much, I'm glad my family is finally here. It is so fun to be with everyone and to be able to show them the sights of my mission.

We haven't done a whole lot yet--just visiting people and eating a lot. Last night we were able to go to the temple. Wow. What an awesome experience. I forgot how much I love being there with the people I love most.

Oh, and I recently have developed inflammation of the area between my ribs and cartilage that huts a lot (well, only when I breathe). Hopefully it'll go away soon (don't worry. I've got plenty of ibuprofen and I'm taking it).

That's all I've got.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Chi-Town Stage 1: The airport

So, I'm writing this from the SLC airport. Due to the boy scout in my blood, I am extremely prepared with a year's supply worth of snacks, about 7000 lbs of books that I probably won't read, and an hour to spare. This gives me the perfect opportunity to...people watch!

The airport tends to attract all types. Starting off, we've got the computer nerds in the corner. Actually, I think they're really mafia because they are using an old clunky PC and we all know that the only use for those is if you need a quick weapon. Also, they keep drinking their frescas and staring at me. Maybe they know something...

Next, there's a woman who I will affectionately call "pill popper". She's wearing fish net tights, gulping her drink, and taking some sort of pill in between bites of her krispy kreme donut.

A few seats over, a girl named "miss wannabe illusive". She's wearing big sunglasses (inside) and she's been talking on her cell phone for what looks like at least 12 hours as she's starting to grow into the upholstery of the airport chair.

Pill popper just left.

Oh. There's my favorite. His name is Billy (well, it should be if it's not). I haven't seen anyone so decked out in cowboy gear for a long time. It's a wonder his pants don't fall down with the size of that belt buckle.

pill popper is back with another donut.

Well, I'm excited about this trip. I have a feeling that it's going to be exhausting, fun, crazy, and really weird to be in Chicago in pants. Still, I can't wait to see everyone and chi-town.

Monday, April 21, 2008


Yesterday (yes, I know that's a rather ironic way to begin the post named "today"), the home teaching lesson was on President Monson's talk: "live in the past, remember the future, and...the pallet of the poisly has the true that is blue. Just remember that". It really got me thinking about the importance of living in the present. So, I have made a new goal to enjoy today.

How many times do I think, "I can't wait until the weekend!" "I can't wait until summertime!" "I can't wait until finals are over!" "I can't wait until I get another comment on my blog!". I realized that I sometimes miss the most important moments of my life, looking for the next most exciting one.

So, today I went for a good long (6 mile) run and loved it. I was only a few blocks from my house when the first exciting moment occurred: a high school aged boy leaned half way out his window to scream and/or whistle at me. I instinctively sped up my pace, sucked in my stomach, and flexed my arms-just in case. Then I remembered that today, there is a boy who loves me. I slowed down and made my arms look as flabby as possible. (*note: my arms look exactly the same flexed or not. I don't know why I even try.) As I continued my run, I remembered how I used to hate the process of running, but love the feeling after. Now, I love every second of the process. What a blessing that my body works and that I can breathe (depending on how fast I'm running) and that I could enjoy the sunshine!

I used to think that Satan invented final's week. But today, I'm glad for finals because it means that I'm lucky enough to have an education. (The added bonus is that finals are over and I got $91 for selling back two textbooks.)

What a great day it is today.

Friday, April 18, 2008

My Classical Music Complex

Okay. Confession time. So, I went to take my first final this morning, and when I heard a Vivaldi melody line drifting through the air, I suddenly felt sick. Literally.

Background: Many children have somewhat of a rebellious streak. (I guess that's a generalization. Maybe it was just me.) When I was young, the only music playing in my house was Classical. Occasionally, my mom would shake things up just enough to throw us off, by playing some Mormon Tabernacle Choir. At a young age, I went on a road trip with one of my childhood friends and her family, and I realized that there was more music out there. Wow. At that moment, I decided that I was through with this classical brainwashing, and from then on and forever, classical music made me carsick. Weird, I know. I've tried to break free of my own weird associations, but now and then (especially during finals week I guess) it hits me.

So, back to the test taking. I was walking to the test taking room in the WILK, heard the music, and could picture in my head taking my test: trying and trying but then crashing and burning like the little engine who couldn't. I started feeling nauseous and weak and John E's recent line "mom, my frontal cortex slipped to the back" was taking on new meaning. Luckily, the Vivaldi ended and some Chopin started (which is much better on my nerves) and I was able to do fairly well.

Another disaster avoided. Thank you Chopin.

*Note: To all you classical lovers out there, I actually really like classical music now. Don't judge me. People can change.

*Anther note: To all you who are taking finals, my mom recently told me about a study that was conducted making a connection between blood sugar and brain capacity. Lesson: eat lots of sugar and you'll do well on your tests.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

First Post

This blog has been a long time coming. After weeks and weeks of peer pressure, I'm finally giving in--NOT because I have anything interesting to say, but rather, I have hundreds of mindless, uninteresting things to say. So, to any of you who have nothing better to do...here goes.

Today, my favorite sister dianey and I went on our first-semi-annual-reading-day-DI-shopping-spree. It was quite the enjoyable treasure
hunt and we came off conquerors. As we walked across campus
afterwards, flaunting our DI bags and their precious contents, we
reminisced about the days when we would've rather died than to be
caught in public with a DI bag. We would actually go shopping at
GAP or Old Navy or somewhere, and save our bags to reuse if we ever
needed one to take to school. That way, "they" would know how cool we

So, it got me thinking, who is this mysterious "they" I've been
looking out for all my life? Who's to say that DI shopping is less
cool than GAP shopping. Actually, now that I think about it, it seems
more embarrassing to carry your GAP bag with the one shirt that you
could purchase with the allotted budget, as opposed to the five shirts
and pair of shoes, that could be purchased at DI for the same price.

And why did "they" say that baby girls should wear pink, and boys
blue. Seriously, if you were going for alliteration with the B thing,
you'd think they would say green or gumby or something instead of

And what about blogging? Why am I writing this at 12:47 am? Simply because of "them"

This list could go on and on.

I mean, really. Is my DI bag really more embarrassing than the girl I
saw on campus today, sneaking up on a duck to take a picture of it
with her phone? I bet she'd be more successful if she camouflaged her
phone like a twinky. I hear ducks love those things.

I think that "they" deserve a good talking to about the traditions of
this society. "They" definitely should say that it's more cool for
professors to never give finals. But, since "they" haven't said
anything on that topic, if anyone has "their" information, I would like it so I can send "them" a nasty email.

Disclaimer: I actually do really like the color pink. Also, to all you who are wondering about the blog title, if you like it, it was my idea. If you think it's stupid, Barney named it. If you don't get it, it's a quote from the Book of Mormon with the unwritten "be Mary". Funny huh.