Monday, September 22, 2008

"Essay on poor weather" by Mary F. Lund

As discovered among scientists many years ago, continental states such as Utah and Russia tend to have climates that can change from the slightest disruption. Some examples may be ocean currents, el Nino, or suggestions from political candidates. These natural occurrences cause major problems among humans, because, as is common knowledge, humans like to be in warm, sunny, sandy places and not in cold, rainy, school-y places. To remedy this problem among humankind (notice my political correctness), I propose that we increase global warming to the max. This solution will:
1. Cut my clothing bills in the winter months
2. Save the sanity of many- especially college students who are required to walk from class to class, and
3. Create an increased sense of general comfort one with another as we shed our layers (to a modest degree of course)-showing our fearlessness to express the inner self.

As you can see, there are many reasons to warm up this planet we live on. Sure, it may cause iceburgs to melt, and increased pollution, but come on! I'm freezing here!

*Disclaimer: I understand the complexity of global warming and the negative affects- we talk about it a lot in the Geography Dept. Don't worry, it's just a bit cold.


sara said...

I'm sorry it's so cold, you could come live in Vegas and then you wouldn't be cold. Remember that one time when we lived in Cancun and we slept in hammocks and we were SO HOT!!!! (the sunburns didn't help) Just think of that when you're cold and be happy that you don't have to sleep suspended in air with "pet" lizards crawling around the walls. That's probably what would happen if the all the ice melts and the globe is warm.

Traci and Brian said...

You're funny, Mary. I miss you.

Suzie said...

I don't know what it was about this post (probably the Mary Francis Lundiness of it all), but it made me smile bigger than I have all day! So thanks. I love you!

Net said...

sorry Mary. won't work. global warming is a hoax, didn't you know? :)