A letter to a celebrity

Dear James Bond,

I know you're probably used to being worshiped--especially among the lady-folk around Hollywood and in every movie that you've ever starred in. However, I was just wondering how I could be more like you. You may be wondering why, instead of just loving you, I want to aspire to be you. The answer is simple. It's just that my husband wors thinks you're great (we'll leave the worshiping to those that really deserve it-no offense) and I think that maybe I could impress him a little with my cool moves and creative abilities to "protect" my family. I would try writing Jackie Chan, but have you heard about how many injuries he's acquired during his exploits?

My point exactly. Not worth it.

Anyway, a little help would be appreciated. He's been laughing less and less at my jokes.

Sincerely,
Mary