The Tale of Two Silly Sisters

Once upon a time, there were two silly sisters.
They were pretty happy being silly,


Despite their rather disturbing facial features at times, one of the sisters was happy to have just extracted a pea that had been in her nose for 3 days, and the other just got lasik. What's there not to be happy about?




One day, these silly sisters faced one of the biggest crises they had ever faced together.


One of the sisters saw a beautiful specimen of a man walking on campus. And not just any man. I mean, look at him! He's worth kissy faces and more!


These silly sisters dreamed about him,


They even sat in front of the mirror for hours, practicing looking as attractive as possible to impress him.



But they knew that in the end, one of them was going to win this man's heart, and that meant that the other was going to lose.



At first, they were both determined to win him. This was war after all.


But after a while, neither of them felt very happy. And this did not help them attract the man.


In order to save their relationship (they were sisters after all) one of the sisters tried going after other men. She wasn't too successful. Some were too tall, others too short, and then there was that one who wouldn't stop talking about his job cleaning fish tanks.


Then, one summer day, the man asked one of the silly sisters on a date. The other one tried to be happy for her.


And actually, she was. Because the man and the silly sister ended up falling in love and living happily ever after. The silly sisters went back to being just as silly as before, except this time, they had another silly face to join theirs











*Disclaimer: Diane was never chasing Barney and we would never fight anyway. It was just for the sake of the story. Oh, and no, I didn't try dating John E. :)

"Essay on poor weather" by Mary F. Lund

As discovered among scientists many years ago, continental states such as Utah and Russia tend to have climates that can change from the slightest disruption. Some examples may be ocean currents, el Nino, or suggestions from political candidates. These natural occurrences cause major problems among humans, because, as is common knowledge, humans like to be in warm, sunny, sandy places and not in cold, rainy, school-y places. To remedy this problem among humankind (notice my political correctness), I propose that we increase global warming to the max. This solution will:
1. Cut my clothing bills in the winter months
2. Save the sanity of many- especially college students who are required to walk from class to class, and
3. Create an increased sense of general comfort one with another as we shed our layers (to a modest degree of course)-showing our fearlessness to express the inner self.

As you can see, there are many reasons to warm up this planet we live on. Sure, it may cause iceburgs to melt, and increased pollution, but come on! I'm freezing here!


*Disclaimer: I understand the complexity of global warming and the negative affects- we talk about it a lot in the Geography Dept. Don't worry, it's just a bit cold.

Jorge

Big news! There is a new Francis! As of Sept. 9, my sister-in-law Marcie gave birth to a 9 lb. 4 oz., 22 inch baby boy named George Taylor Francis. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty dang excited for him. I mean, he has no idea what a cool aunt he's got! :) *

And in case anyone else forgets (like my brother Jason did when trying to call me to tell the news), my new last name is LUND. It's not that hard! Just think of the state on the east coast, close to Washington D.C.



*of course the aforementioned "cool aunt" is Diane. Who else would I be talking about?