LASIK

L--lately we've been feeling spendy and blind

A--and the doctor's office gave us WARM cookies

S--so I guess there may be a slight possibility

I--If you can call it that,

K--kind of think Barney may be getting super vision soon.

Senior Moment

The sun is shining and it's a beautiful day!

This morning when I left the house without a jacket, it was basically euphoria. So, the next logical thought in my head was to go running! I ran inside to change my clothes as quickly as possible so as not to miss any of the sunshine. As I opened the door to run outside, I felt a slight breeze, and looked down. When was the last time you forgot to put on a shirt before leaving the house? I'm just glad I noticed before any of my neighbors did.

Little Lumps of Irony

I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed, but today is April 16. One day after tax day, 3 months, 3 weeks and 1 day after Christmas, and 27 days after the spring equinox. And yet, there are little lumps all over the trees this morning, which were blossoms yesterday (blossoms of hope, if you will), and today are merely ironic symbols of the cynic's reality. I think I'm going to move to Mexico.

Flop #2

One morning, a few years ago, I awoke to the panicked thought that it was April 1st (otherwise known as April Fool's Day) , and I had totally forgotten to prepare a prank on my mission companion. Despite my attempts at "losing" her during the morning rituals (exercise, frequent trips to the bathroom, etc), I was still without a good idea, and very much with my companion--circumstances that are not conducive to pranking. Finally, she got in the shower and I ran around our apartment in desperation for something, anything that I could think of. Kool-aid in the shower head? No, she was already in the shower. Make muffins with cotton balls in them? Not enough time. Finally, I came accross a pair of XXL nylons that had been left in the apartment by a former missionary. I opened up the package, and put the nylons in my companion's drawer. She got out of the shower, got ready and put on the nylons when, to my horror, they fit! I couldn't believe it! Turns out nylons are pretty much always "one size fits all" and super stretchy. Bummer! They were a little saggy, but nothing like I was hoping.

Well, a few days ago, I was awakened by my love telling me that a close family member had passed away the night before. I was distraught and sadly trying to comfort him when he yelled, "April Fools!" Blast. I forgot again? Well, thanks to the help of my good friend Britt, I made a delicious and very fancy Italian "dip" to serve for dinner. Here are the ingredients:


That thing on the right if fish sauce. Have you ever smelled fish sauce? It's foul. So, I mixed up all this stuff, thinking it would be way gross. Here was the reaction I got:

B: Mmm...what's this? reaching for a cracker to dip in the dip
M: Oh. It's just a fancy Italian dip I made for our Italian dinner (I made pizza:))
B: Taking a bite
M: Do you like it?
B: Yeah!
M: You do?!?!?!
B: Why? Should I not like it?

this is about where my cool poker face broke.

M: It was an April Fool's Day joke!
B: Well, it turned out pretty good. Here, you try it!

I tried a tiny bit just to satisfy Barney, but really, it was too gross thinking of all the things I had put in it.

So, there you go. Next year, I'm going to start early thinking of ideas...

spending the afternoon with j-dawg

Did someone say haircut?

*note: I took these pics with my phone. Thus the bad quality...

A letter to a celebrity

Dear James Bond,

I know you're probably used to being worshiped--especially among the lady-folk around Hollywood and in every movie that you've ever starred in. However, I was just wondering how I could be more like you. You may be wondering why, instead of just loving you, I want to aspire to be you. The answer is simple. It's just that my husband wors thinks you're great (we'll leave the worshiping to those that really deserve it-no offense) and I think that maybe I could impress him a little with my cool moves and creative abilities to "protect" my family. I would try writing Jackie Chan, but have you heard about how many injuries he's acquired during his exploits?

My point exactly. Not worth it.

Anyway, a little help would be appreciated. He's been laughing less and less at my jokes.

Sincerely,
Mary

Remember that one time...

Despite my attempts at being a grown-up most of the time (and the occasional gray hair that is "supposedly" spotted by my true love), there's something to be said for the good 'ol days. I hate to admit it, but on those nostalgic days, I still miss those times when we drove around in Jennica's old convertible, singing to Celine Dion at the top of our lungs and dedicating every version of "I'm your Lady" to the boy that we had a crush on in that moment (which was basically every boy). Never mind that now we just make fun of the cheesiness of the lyrics, and the fact that Celine has been the "hot item" in Vegas for just over 20 years or so by now. (Don't worry Sara, I won't tell that you went to see her...:)). It just goes to show, I guess, that Celine's heart will go on, and on, and on....